The warmth from his fingertips slowly calmed me down. He gently soothed me.

“I understand that you can’t stay in this state, that you strive to live fiercely every moment to improve. I know you’re working desperately to protect and achieve what you want.”

He squeezed my hand and let it go.

“That’s why I respect and admire you.”

His gaze as he leaned back in his chair…

“I don’t want to hinder what you’re trying to do. I understand.”

He was kind, even though he must have been disappointed in me. Even though I hadn’t kept my promise.

“I was the first to say I’d stay with you… to tell you that you were not wrong, that you were born without any fault… but then I left alone. I’m sorry.”

Words flowed out on their own, my thoughts swinging to extremes.

I wanted to beg for forgiveness, yet at the same time, I wanted to disappear from his sight. His kindness made me want to cry and act spoiled, taking advantage of his sympathy.

I had been suffocated by fear up until I made my wish and entered the palace.

What if Claude hates me?

What if he says he never wants to see me again?

What if he stops smiling, holding my hand, and comforting me, like before we got close, or even worse, like before I hanged myself?

‘You’re weak and cowardly. Pathetic.’

Self-loathing surged bitterly to my throat.

Why am I like this?

I’m tired of losing control and falling into panic at the slightest provocation.

I want to stop, but I don’t know how.

Didn’t I swear to repay them in kind?

Didn’t I vow to avenge myself on those who drove me to death and laughed at me?

But here I am, as weak as overripe fruit that gives in at the slightest poke, crying at the smallest nudge.

I can’t even avenge myself properly. What am I?

Steeling myself like iron to tear apart those who trample me was just empty bravado?

Maybe a fool who couldn’t even die properly was never meant to achieve anything in the first place.

From start to finish, everything I do is a mistake.

“You’ve already kept your promise.”

Claude’s words brought me out of my spiral of self-deprecation.

I lifted my trembling head to meet his eyes.

The eyes that always captured me, shining brightly and curving gently.

“Khalia. Because of you, I gained a bit of courage. The courage to believe in your words.”

“Claude…”

“The words you said to me, the actions you took to help me. Watching you break free from the chains of guilt and open up your life, I thought.”

I stared at him, dazed.

“Maybe I’m not guilty either. That my birth wasn’t my fault. That it’s okay for me to try to live. That it’s alright.”

Tears welled up again, unnoticed.

Is all the moisture in my body flowing through my eyes? But I couldn’t help it. Claude smiled.

“I’m trying to be happy. I want to live my life. Thanks to you.”

He approached, knelt, and wiped my tears with his bare hands. His thumb gently brushed under my eyes.

“So don’t cry. You’ve done nothing wrong to me.”

I clung to his wrist. He let me hold his hand and stroked my hair gently.

With just a gesture, a single word, Claude effortlessly pulled me out of the mire.

I cried and swore for a long time.

This will be the last time.

Crying like this ends now…

* * *

How much time had passed? The tears finally stopped.

After repeating the cycle of holding his wrist and sniffling a few times, the shame quickly filled the void left by the tears.

I awkwardly let go of his wrist.

“Done crying?”

Claude asked. His whisper was kind, almost like talking to a child.

When I hung my head, he lowered himself to check my face. He seemed worried that I might still be crying.

Finally, I opened my mouth, embracing the embarrassment.

“I’m done crying, so…”

“Really?”

“Yeah. So, please step back now. …Please.”

As he stood up, I pretended not to hear the soft laughter that followed. Betraying me, my face flushed hot.

I didn’t need a mirror to feel my eyes swollen. Claude was laughing softly across from me.

The way he was now, playful and relaxed, was different from the caring and mature person who had just comforted me.

Unlike the recent days of unpredictability, he seemed comfortable and… mischievous.

“Now I understand why you’ve been acting so strangely.”

Sniff. I wiped my nose, trying to act nonchalant. Claude’s tone turned firm.

“What?”

The confident posture he had been relaxing in suddenly slipped. His voice was full of surprise.

“You understand?”

“Yes.”

He leaned closer.

“Then…”

“Then…?”

Not knowing what he wanted, I repeated his words. Claude’s face tensed with anxiety.

He opened his mouth, then swallowed nervously and asked cautiously.

“What do you think?”

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed his leg shaking. When he realized I saw it, he stopped but continued to look at me anxiously.

“What do you mean, what do I think…?”

“Wait!”

“Why?”

He let out a deep sigh, placing a hand on his forehead. His other hand extended toward me, palm open.

“Don’t say anything yet. I’m not ready.”

“Why do you need to prepare your mind…?”

I tilted my head. He removed his hand from his face, revealing a complex expression. He seemed shocked.

“Of course, I need to. This is important.”

“Yes, it is important but…”

‘Is it something to react like this about?’

I was confused by his reaction.

Seeing my bewilderment, he frowned and asked in a hesitant voice.

“Are we talking about the same thing?”

“I thought we were.”

“What do you think the reason is?”

He seemed very doubtful. I revealed it straightforwardly.

“You said you gained the courage to live anew. But you still have deep-seated guilt and conflicting values, causing confusion, right?”

Isn’t this the reason?

To me, it seemed perfectly clear.

I couldn’t understand why Claude, who had been acting almost like a ghost, was reacting this way.

His face turned pale, and he slumped into the chair. His back slid down.

“Claude?”

He didn’t respond.

“…Isn’t it?”

I asked carefully. A weak arm lifted and covered his white face. His voice, muffled, came from beneath his hand.

“It’s true… that’s one reason.”

“That’s ‘one’ reason?”

Claude sat up straight.

At that moment, lightning flashed outside. The room lit up momentarily.

“Do you really think that’s the only reason I was acting strangely?”

Thunder followed seconds later. Rain started pouring outside.

I was at a loss for words. Stammering, I asked.

“Then… what else is there?”

I began listing his strange behavior.

“You insisted on speaking comfortably because of a supposed curse, tried to get closer to me impatiently, then some days just sat quietly as if you didn’t want to talk, then suddenly got up and paced around, leaving the room…”

Claude’s erratic behavior was typical of him, but this time it was extreme.

“All of this makes sense if I think you were struggling with deep-rooted guilt while trying to gain the courage to live happily.”

Cautiously, I watched for his reaction. It was clear I hadn’t found the right answer.

“Then what is the other reason? Tell me.”

I was desperate to know. I felt anxious.

“The reason I acted strangely…”

He opened and closed his mouth several times. I watched his beautifully shaped lips.

But he remained silent, tightly closed like a clam.

“…It’s nothing.”

“Ah, come on! Tell me, Claude. What am I missing?”

I cried out in frustration, pounding the armrest with my fist.

“I want to know you. I want to understand what’s in your mind.”

His eyes wavered.

“Please?”

My voice rose in desperation. Just a bit more persuasion might make him tell me.

“The duke is waiting.”

He stood up, long legs suddenly in my view.

“This isn’t fair!”

I stomped my foot in anger. After making me curious, he wouldn’t give me the reason!

I ignored his extended hand, turning my head and crossing my arms, showing my frustration clearly.

“…I don’t think it’s the right time to tell you.”

His voice mixed with laughter and resignation. He seemed firmly decided to not tell.

My voice lost its strength.

“Is it something difficult for me to understand?”

“Well… it just feels like it’s not the right time.”

I looked up at him. He had a faint smile. I took his hand and asked.

“You’ll tell me later, right?”

“No matter what, I promise.”

He gripped my hand firmly and helped me stand.