Home Post 819-chapter-132


‘As the petals bloom, the symptoms worsen. Symptoms include confusion of memory, coughing up blood, nosebleeds, headaches, digestive disorders, and more.

The peculiar thing about this black flower is that it looks perfectly healthy on the outside. Despite the internal decay, as the petals bloom, the complexion becomes brighter.’

“…Well, at least there’s one thing to be thankful for.”

They say when a person is about to die, they find many things to be thankful for. How amusing.

Although I’m dying, I’m grateful that it doesn’t create a miserable and sickly appearance.

Still, I know how remarkable that advantage is. Watching people around someone dying….gradually they become afraid.

Constantly becoming fearful, both of death and life.

How good it would be to leave a last appearance with a healthy look.

With a small smile, I neatly folded the paper, placing it back in its original position. Then, a brief sigh escaped, literally poured out.

The unbearable weight of emotions was so heavy that it poured out uncontrolled.

Sitting blankly at the desk, I slowly opened a drawer and took out an empty piece of paper. A clean desk, a white piece of paper.

“Before I die… What should I do?”

As I mentioned to Sir Alogen, I had no intention of doing anything grand in the remaining three weeks. So, what I’m contemplating now isn’t something worthwhile in life, but rather preparing for death.

Since I plan to prepare for death alone without notifying anyone, I must have my own plan.

Caressing the white paper, I wrote my name in the most crooked handwriting at the top.

‘Selena White.’

I just wanted to leave my presence somewhere. A paper with just my name written on it seemed absurdly amusing.

After a laugh to myself, I collapsed onto the desk.

While caressing the faded ring that occupied my ring finger, I silently called out the name in my heart.

Aiden, Aiden, Aiden… Please come and save me.

However, the faded ring had no effect whatsoever. After lying on the desk like that for a while, I soon remembered that it was time for Jane to come.

‘Selena White.’ Seeing the crooked handwriting, one thing I wanted to do came to mind.

The happiest memory of my life. I wanted to see the lakeside on a summer day again.

Even though the seasons had changed, and I couldn’t dip my feet in the lake.

Before I die, I want to go there again.

So, under my name, I wrote a small number.

[1. I want to go on a trip. I want to go to the lakeside with my family and loved ones.]

After confirming the brief wish, I gently traced the words with my fingertip, as if touching something precious.

Knock, knock.


Jane’s voice came from beyond the door. Judging by the daylight, it was the time for Jane to wake me up. Hurriedly hiding the paper in the drawer, I quietly approached the door.

While holding the doorknob, the voices of two people were heard from outside.

“It seems she hasn’t awakened yet.”

“Yes, I think Miss really likes to sleep, doesn’t she?”

The former was Aiden, and the latter was Jane. Oh, these adorable beings… Did you always see me like that? Admittedly. They really know me well. I do like to sleep. I chuckled softly and opened the door without hesitation.

“Oh my!”

Jane exclaimed, jumping up with surprise. Her reaction was so much like a chick that I couldn’t help but laugh out loud.

“Mi… Miss!”

Blushing, Jane pursed her lips. Ah, that made her even more like a chick. Only today did I realize how enjoyable this unexpected prank was, with only three weeks left until my death.

“Miss, you woke up early?”

“Yes, Aiden. Good morning.”

Laughing to myself, I stepped aside a bit to let the two enter. Aiden’s dull eyes, astonished by my unexpected prank, soon rounded with amusement.

Aiden greeted me with a warm smile, and I nodded in return with a cheerful face. From now on, I should smile like this more often. That determination.

“Anyway, Miss! You really surprised me.”

“Sorry, Jane. I woke up early and was too bored.”

“….Miss, you don’t usually play pranks like this, right?”

“I just wanted to try it. Thanks to that, I witnessed such an amusing scene.”


Her elongated tone seemed somewhat like a scolding…? It must be my imagination.

While Jane and I chatted, Aiden skillfully checked the condition of the fireplace. He adjusted the curtains, opened the window a little for ventilation. Indeed, he seemed like a professional butler.

“By the way, are you feeling better, Miss?”

Aiden handed over the rolled blanket to Jane and casually asked.

Yesterday, after Sir Alogen left the terrace, Aiden soon came to the terrace. I grabbed him and told him that I would go back to the room right away.

Perhaps my face was pale when I said that. Aiden nodded worriedly and immediately supported me, guiding me back to the room.

His worry has continued until today.

Sitting at the tea table, I glanced at Aiden and then looked down at the scars on the back of my hand, then answered nonchalantly.

“Yes, I’m fine.”

I responded like that without offering any further explanation. Since I could feel Aiden looking at me, I pulled up my sleeve to cover the back of my hand. I felt a bit bitter.

Even though I was smiling as if nothing was wrong, others probably wouldn’t notice. It must look genuinely enjoyable. Strange thoughts echoed in my mind. Noticing my sagging smile, I lifted the corners again.

Let’s smile, let’s smile a lot in the remaining days of my life.

So I smiled and stood up from the chair. Since I was still in my pajamas, I took an indoor dress from Jane and excused myself from the two of them.

With a small thud, the door closed, resonating through the room. Standing in place, holding the pink dress, I stared at the closed door. I felt somewhat lost.

Something, what was it? Now that the room, which was just noisy, had suddenly become quiet, it felt incredibly lonely.

Soon, I undressed and stood in front of the full-length mirror, wearing only underwear. The leaf pattern on my left chest was vivid. Thankfully, there seemed to be no significant change. It was fortunate that the flower was blooming slowly.

After touching the pattern a few more times, I finished dressing

* * *

“Selena, your complexion doesn’t look good.”

Today, I intentionally wore a dress with slightly longer sleeves. I didn’t want the wounds on my hand to be visible. So, the sleeves were a bit bothersome.

When Brother asked me a question, my hands hesitated, and the billowy sleeves fluttered in the air.

Brother probably wouldn’t know anything about why my complexion wasn’t good. Since the black flower is a disease that brightens the complexion, if my complexion isn’t good now, it’s probably because I had a hard night’s sleep.

I casually moved my hands again. Using my fork to roll a piece of carrot around that I wouldn’t even eat, I slowly raised my head to face my brother.

“Last night, the air was a bit chilly. I might have caught a slight cold.”

“Goodness, Selena! Why didn’t you say so earlier!”

Mother was shocked, her hands trembling at the excuse I casually made. It’s just a cold, how worried she was. What if she finds out in three weeks that I’ll die?

I blinked my eyes slowly and raised my head.

“It’s not serious, just a mild cold. You don’t need to worry.”


“….Really. I’m fine, really.”

I smiled, raising the corners of my mouth.

In any case, mingling among talented actors… I’ve become quite an actor myself.

Smiling, I took a piece of meat into my mouth, signaling that everything was fine. As I chewed and swallowed, I felt Mother’s unwavering gaze slightly withdraw.

“Oh, Selena. We decided to match the dress code for the New Year’s party.”

“Dress code?”

As I asked, Brother whispered softly.

“It was a culture that was once a trend in noble families.”

Ah, a trend. Seeing that it was once a trend means it’s already past its prime.

Whatever. If my family likes it, that’s fine. With that thought in mind, I shrugged my shoulders lightly.

“What color will you choose?”

“Blue! How about it, Selena?”

Whether it was because of the good mood or not, Mother’s face was filled with delight. It looked good, and I thought about how it would be with blue, or even rainbow-colored.

Even though I was uncertain if I could attend that New Year’s party or not.


I responded as if I didn’t know. The clattering sound echoed through the dining room, and when there were only a few pieces of meat left on the plate, I remembered my wish.

I want to go to the lakeside with everyone.

However, I couldn’t just blurt it out. The end of the year is busy. Even a mere office worker has a lot to do, so how busy would the lord of a territory be?

Thinking about that for a moment, I put down my fork. Being the first to put down the fork, my family looked at me as if to ask what was going on.

I was the slowest eater in my family. I didn’t eat a lot, I was slow to eat. So, it wasn’t common for me to put my fork first.

“What’s wrong, Selena? Doesn’t it taste good?”

Brother asked quietly. Worry was evident in his furrowed brow. Feeling lifted again by that, I smiled and raised my head.

“No, it’s not that… I have something to say.”

As soon as I said that, silence fell over the dining room. In the hushed atmosphere, there was no sound of forks moving and only the crackling of the firewood in the fireplace.

No, is it such a nerve-wracking thing when I say that I have something to say…? Thinking about it for a moment, I rolled my eyes awkwardly and looked at Father.

“Could you go on a trip with me?”

“With this father?”

Father asked with a slightly excited voice. At the same time, Mother and Brother looked at me with shocked faces. Their expressions asked how I could suggest a trip without them.

“With everyone.”

With my following words, the atmosphere became happy and sad again. Mother and Brother liked the idea, their lips curving into smiles, while Father’s open mouth seemed to droop a bit.

“I know it’s busy at the end of the year. But, after my birthday next year, I’ll be twenty…. and Brother will be getting married… and just… I don’t think we’ll have a chance for a winter trip in the future. Can’t we?”

I lowered the hands that had been on the dining table onto my lap, fidgeting. Mother and Brother expressed approval, while Father’s open mouth seemed troubled.


When I finished speaking, Mother called my name. Her voice, calling me earnestly, felt warm as her hand gently covered my cheek.

“Of course that would go without saying, why are you hesitating like that? It makes Mom sad.”

Hesitating? Well, I usually hesitate. Silently folding away those feelings, I closed my eyes under the warmth of Mother’s touch.

The gentle story that flowed from her mouth felt even warmer than Mother’s touch.