Home Post 1106-chapter-41


Really, what on earth was that? Was that in my room?

Enfrise’s gaze was fixed behind the wardrobe. Something paper-like was protruding out, but it wasn’t a picture card. It was a piece of plain white paper.

What was it?

I went closer and picked it up. However, unable to read the writing, I had no idea what it said.

Glancing at Enfrise, I saw him looking back at me with a serious expression. Was he reacting to whatever was written on it? Or was he just puzzled by finding something unfamiliar in my room? Ugh, it was bothering me.

“I can’t tell what it says.”

As I handed the paper to him, he scanned it briefly before setting it down on the table.

“What is it?”

“Nothing much. It seems like something Sir Jaha left behind.”

“Why would that be behind the… ah!

Realizing something, I hurriedly checked behind the wardrobe. And then.



“Why did you put stuff here again? My goodness! Why would you put strawberries here?”

Ppi—! Ppippi—! Kyaa—!

“It’s not ‘kyaa’! If you’re going to hide things, stick them under the bed. There’s plenty of space there, so why behind the wardrobe too?”

Was this some kind of weasel behavior? I couldn’t tell, really.

It was common for them to take food to hidden spots to eat, but I don’t recall it ever eating behind the wardrobe. Seeing the strawberries I gave it yesterday here suggested it pretended to eat them under the bed before moving here.

“So, you moved this paper too? Why are you hiding Jaha’s things?”


…This, this clever thing.

Knowing I couldn’t scold it if it acted cute, it just tilted its head as if it didn’t know anything, expressing innocent ignorance. This was why animals! They knew too well how cute they were!



Why did he seem upset now?

“What’s wrong, Grand Duke?”

Getting jealous because I call Phily by its name was… something we settled before. And he said he wasn’t ready to be called by his name yet, right?

It seems there might be an issue…

“Sir Jaha and you seem to have grown quite close.”


“I remember you used to call him ‘the pharmacist’ just a few days ago.”

…Ah, aahh? Did I just call him Jaha?

It must have become a habit to refer to him casually without even realizing it. It was a mistake. Still, was it really something to get upset about? Enfrise was the one who brought Jaha here, and he was the one who appointed him as my art teacher. Why was he getting mad about us getting close?

“I assure you, I have not the slightest interest in him, nor does he have any in me.”

Sure, Chaperil may possess heavenly beauty, though if everyone fell in love with that beauty, wouldn’t life be incredibly difficult?

Even someone as oblivious as me could differentiate between someone showing romantic interest and mere kindness. Jaha was just naturally kind-hearted, not particularly romantically interested in Chaperil.

If there was anything, it might be curiosity since I behave differently from the usual noble ladies.

“You…should be aware of how dangerous you are.”

Why bring that up again? I haven’t done anything to him! Despite wanting to see him, I’ve been restraining myself, worrying I might act improperly again!

“Grand Duke, I’m serious. You don’t think I’m foolish, do you?”


“After listening to the Grand Duke’s words last time, I reflected a lot, and I’m trying hard to hold back. So please, don’t do that.”

“What exactly are you trying to hold back?”

My simping! My admiration!

To me, what should I say? I was having a male friend for the first time, so I might rely too much on you and get too emotional. Especially since my whole life revolves around Enfirse, it was even more so. So, I’ve been reflecting and trying to act more rationally.

Trying not to bother you!

“The things the Grand Duke said you disliked.”

“Do you know what I dislike?”

Of course.

Seeing as the conversation might get lengthy, I sat down. Then, I glanced sadly at the shaved ice, which had almost returned to its original milk form, before speaking.

“The Grand Duke thinks I’ve been teasing you.”

“…Not anymore.”

“That’s a relief. Anyway, you mentioned it was distressing for you. When I was too direct in expressing my feelings or too familiar towards the Grand Duke.”


Normally, in novels, this was where the female lead would interrupt the male lead and continue speaking, though I chose to stay silent and wait.

Enfrise often started to open up about what was on his mind but then suddenly shut up. It was hard to describe.

Did he have incredibly low self-esteem?

Maybe he missed out on many things he should’ve learned when he was young, like what Tambor said is the reason for his low self-esteem now. Perhaps he started sharing his inner thoughts because he was swept up in my enthusiasm. But now it’s different.

Enfrise was trying to tell me something on his own initiative.

“It did hurt… but I didn’t dislike it.”

That was a difficult statement to understand. Wasn’t pain usually associated with dislike? Why would you not like pain?

“As you probably know by now, I love you.”

Enfrise had brought up a topic that both of us had been avoiding.


* * *


This might be the first time he had called it ‘love,’ and he wasn’t sure if that was appropriate. Still, to Enfrise, this felt like love.

He felt like it could only be called love.

From the first day he saw her, and continuously since then.

“At first, it might have been closer to admiration.”

She felt like a saint, no, a goddess.

The existence of Chaperil was something so noble and sacred that it seemed wrong for a dirty thief like him to even touch or speak of her—someone equal to everyone, someone kind and free to everyone, and someone who wasn’t swayed by any rumor or held any prejudice.

The fact that such a person existed felt like a miracle.

“You might not remember… but I remember you. And even afterwards, when we crossed paths at a banquet or anything, I watched over you.”

It wasn’t painful.

From the beginning, he knew she was someone he couldn’t reach. It was just a bit sad that his first feeling of affection towards the opposite sex was fading away like this… that it could never come true.

“…After bringing you here for some reason, it has really been painful.”

He had vowed to do anything to protect her. He thought he could bear being hated by her.

Being someone who could only watch her from a distance without any real interaction, he was afraid that any word he might utter could lead to negative rumors about her. He was content with the fact that he could do something for her.

That alone made him happy.

But actually, being hated by her was painful.

“Even before you lost your memories, you were no different than you are now. You were bright, lovely, and free-spirited. That’s why you struggled with life here.”

Even knowing that, he couldn’t let her go.

Knowing the dangers that risked her, Enfrise couldn’t release her because he truly loved her with all his heart. He wanted to protect her.


“I… made a choice. Even if it meant you would hate and despise me, I decided to protect you.”

There were crucial pieces missing from his story.

Chaperil noticed that Enfrise was deliberately leaving certain things out, but she didn’t interrupt him hastily. She realized that there might be things he couldn’t yet discuss.

Still, one thing was clear. Enfrise didn’t kidnap Chaperil because of love. He didn’t confine her in this mansion out of a desire for love. He wanted to protect her from something. Then, why… did the original story unfold in that way?

Chaperil’s expression darkened.

“The day we first met, you smiled at me. And the day I brought you to this mansion when you opened your eyes and looked at me, I sensed I would never see that smile again.”

Drops of water trickled down the bowl.

Enfrise avoided Chaperil’s gaze and kept talking while watching the droplets running down the bowl.

“But then, you smiled at me.”

Feeling hotness around his nose, he closed his eyes. Something rose and hovered around his eyes. He was trying to hold back tears that seemed ready to fall at any moment.

“Afterward, you’ve given me so much—words that were too much to say, an intimacy I never dared hope for despite receiving all these things I never wanted.”

Enfrise clenched his fist tightly.

To admit how vile, greedy, and hideous he was wasn’t easy for him. Yet, he hated the idea of her harboring misunderstandings more. He couldn’t stand the thought of their relationship growing awkward.

It hadn’t bothered him when he thought he couldn’t have her. However, having once held something so sweet and fragile…

So dangerous it felt close to breaking.

Fearing that losing it would mean being fatally wounded by its shards.

“I found myself wanting more.”

Enfrise opened his eyes and looked at Chaperil. As always, she looked back at him calmly with those sparkling red eyes. She didn’t avoid his gaze, just waiting. Quietly.

Waiting for what would come next.

“My suffering was due to my own greed. I feared that my greed might fill this modest heart, overflow and harm you. That’s why I spoke those words, not because I hated it. Please… understand that.”

Enfrise’s words came to an end.

And after a brief silence.


Chaperil’s lips slowly parted.