[ “Catering to those dirty royalists while pretending to be a mistress still nauseates me, but the thought that my sacrifice will lead to their downfall makes it bearable.” ]

[ “God, why do you test me so? The child’s eyes, dark blue at birth, have turned teal. I cried all day after being scolded by Johnny for not realizing I was carrying the noble’s child. What to do about this terrible mistake?

Half of this child is from the royalists. My once angelic child now seems a dirty monster.” ]

[ “I suggested giving the child up to an orphanage, but everyone was against it. Even Johnny, who was initially in favor, changed his mind after meeting privately with James Blanchard.”

Why insist on raising a child of those despicable royalists? It’s tormenting.” ]

[ “I tried to abandon the child at an orphanage but got caught halfway.

Blanchard seems to think he’s the king. No, perhaps he considers himself God?” ]

[ “Grace has started going to school. A school in the Blanchard family’s basement, taught only to a select few leaders’ children. It’s not a school, but feels more like a church of fanatics.

Last night, Johnny finally explained why the leaders insisted we raise Grace. After hearing that, I found myself feeling sorry for the child.

This morning, I braided her hair myself, and she boasted with excitement to her friends she met in front of the house that I had done her hair and called her pretty.

I received disdainful looks from those who knew the child’s biological father.

It was foolish of me.

Moreover, the strategy of making dogs eat dogs and pigs eat pigs, the more I think about it, the more revolting it is. What’s the point of a strategy where royalists kill their own without knowing?

It seemed they found some perverse thrill in it.

And the plan to use the child eventually to shake the royalist is astonishing. Because the child is the bastard of a royalist and an enemy, they can tarnish his honor and aim for internal division within the royal family.

It must be Blanchard’s idea.

I agree that using the child’s paternity as leverage during negotiations with the royalists could be useful.

But using it for propaganda is beyond me.

The daughter of a royalist, a bloodline of the monarchy, joins the revolution. Even royalty feels disillusioned with the corrupt monarchy and joins the revolution. This kind of propaganda would certainly damage the royalists’ honor.

But then, we’d eventually have to tell the child about her real father, right?

When I asked Johnny about it, his response was something else. He said we only need to show the child the bright and hopeful side of the revolutionaries. Even if the child learns our secret, we must ensure she doesn’t betray us.

Is that even possible? Johnny insists that if we just hide it well and teach the child properly, it would be enough.

Though to my ears, that sounds like ‘brainwashing.’

It’s pitiful. I thought the child would make more friends at school. The leadership was wary of the child stepping out of control. ‘Before it’s complete,’ they said, the child shouldn’t be influenced by inappropriate information from outsiders, so they never allowed her to attend a real school.

To think of this small child as some sort of secret weapon is utterly ridiculous.

In the end, the monsters weren’t the child but them.” ]

[ “I never want my children to know about what I do. Especially Grace. I’m worried she might come to see it as just something women do in the revolution if she finds out too early. I wish she were a boy. Or at least ugly.” ]

[ “When will they stop keeping an eleven-year-old child cooped up in the village?

I insisted on bringing Grace along for this mission, arguing she should see the outside world, too. They questioned what use a fool who doesn’t even know how to ride a train would be.

This time, my persuasion worked. Yet, seeing her excited for her first trip, unaware of anything, makes me uncomfortable.

Truthfully, I wish she would just disappear… that some kind-hearted family vacationing in Abington Beach would take her away. I’m growing increasingly anxious, feeling she might end up with a fate similar to mine.” ]

[ “Taking her to Abbington Beach was a mistake. I never anticipated it would turn out like this.

Grace has changed. Blindly. She now looks at me with the same gaze I had when I first set foot here, following the monster named Jonathan Riddle. It’s suffocating.” ]

[ “…I might be no different from a monster now.

My face in the mirror, slathered with makeup, couldn’t look any uglier.

It seems Blanchard has finally told his son about what I do. The boy looked at me so strangely today that it made my skin crawl.

I’m terrified of my children finding out. What would they think of me then?” ]

[ “Grace is only fourteen. Yet, that devil took her on a mission and had her shoot people. While she was away, Johnny got drunk and laughed triumphantly, saying a pig killed another pig.

Disgusting.” ]

[ “Please, Grace. That guy will never be a good man.” ]

[ “D*mn it. Johnny gave Grace lipstick for her birthday. The kind of bright red lipstick a harlot would wear. I’ll kill him.” ]