Home Post 1266-chapter-45


“I held your face and, your, your lips… kissed you on the lips.”

Huh, huh? My first kiss.

…Wait? Hold on. Could it be? The soft sensation on my lips… that wasn’t medication entering my mouth…


“And then?”

“…To release magic, mucous membrane contact was necessary…”

Mucous membrane contact—! Seriously! Who would have thought such a setup existed in a romance-fantasy?!

“Using my tongue…”

Of course, it was the tongue! Still, why didn’t it smell like saliva and was instead sweet? Was this the power of a romance-fantasy lead?! His body scent was nice, but tasted even perfect?! That was just cheating!

“I’m sorry.”

Embarrassed and not knowing how to act, Enfrise seemed to want to end the story there. However, that wasn’t my concern.

“And then?”


“What else did you do?”

“You… I thought you were asleep, but you hugged me tightly.”

Ah, so that heavy feeling was Enfrise.

Gasp. So, did I pull him onto the bed first? No, no! That didn’t count! I wasn’t in my right mind!

“So… I asked to be let go, but then you woke up and told me you had a terrible dream…”

I remembered that. I had a dream about being back home… and thinking about it now still feels dreadful.

“And then?”

“And… you wouldn’t let go of me, so I stayed by your side until you fell asleep, and then I left.”

…Huh? That was it?

“Is that all?”


“Didn’t you do anything else?”

“…! I-I may have acted inappropriately, but I’m not crazy enough to do anything more than that!”

Ah, what was this?

It was all within what I remembered. I thought there was more. Well, it wouldn’t be like Enfrise to go beyond without consent. Then, why did he seem so reluctant to tell the story? Was he embarrassed to admit he had given me a kiss?

“I remember all that, too.”

“…It seemed you might. I hoped you didn’t think I would do such a thing… Though I felt cowardly, I couldn’t bring myself to speak.”


Considering Enfrise’s character, it wouldn’t have been surprising if he had openly admitted to feeling sorry and told the truth when I asked about the medication. Nevertheless, he did seem unusually secretive.

“What’s wrong?”

“That… you referred to it as horrific. I know it’s strange to say this after committing such a shameless act. I just…didn’t want you to remember our kiss as something horrible…”

“But that was about a dream I had…”

When did I ever say your kiss was horrific…

Ahem. The word ‘kiss’ was surprisingly embarrassing. When I had never experienced it myself, I used to urge fictional characters to just get on with it.

Now that it was about me, it felt incredibly… ahem.

“Yes. It seemed like you thought it was a dream because of the fever…”

Was he misunderstanding that?

“No, I mean it was really actually about the dream I had. I dreamed I was falling into hell.”

That was indeed hell for me, so it wasn’t entirely wrong. Someone might say that was a comfortable life for me. Someone might wish to trade places with me. If only everyone could escape their own hell, someone else’s hell might seem like heaven.

Like me.

“I didn’t mean it was horrific because of the Grand Duke’s ki-ki—lips. I really didn’t.”


Ah, this was awkward.

“…Then, can I ask for that… again?”

What did he mean?



“…If it…wasn’t horrific—”


“I-I didn’t say it was good!”


“It wasn’t good or bad! It’s just, uh, not now! I’m not ready!”

I abruptly stood up, grabbed my brush, and headed towards the door.

“Where are you going?”

“Oh, um, just, I’ll be right back!”

“Avoid going outside the mansion grounds, if possible…”

“I won’t!”

I shouted as if screaming and burst out the door.


What did I just say?!


* * *


I craved fried chicken.

Not baked, boiled, or steamed, though I wondered if they even had chicken like that in this world. So, I said I wanted to eat chicken coated in batter and fried. Fortunately, Tarmbor, after asking for some time, managed to create a perfect fried chicken and brought it to me two days later.

“It’s really delicious.”

“Is it like you imagined? This is my first time making it.”


The batter crunched satisfyingly. Unlike the franchise chicken that has become prohibitively expensive recently, the batter here was remarkably thin, making it extra crispy. The meat inside burst with juicy tenderness, melting effortlessly in my mouth rather than being dry.

Then came the flavor of the juice filling my mouth, pretending to be cooking oil. Typically, such juices could have a gamey taste, but this was purely rich and savory.

Overwhelmed with joy as I indulged in this divine chicken, I noticed Frii slowly approaching.

I realized Frii usually ate grilled meat. This might be his first time seeing fried food.

“Frii, do you want some?”


When I handed him a small piece of meat, Frii tilted his head, sniffing it tentatively before eagerly grabbing it and darting under the bed—his designated eating spot.

Why did he always eat there?

“It seems Frii likes it as well.”

“Indeed. I’m glad. There’s some more left, so I’ll set aside a bit for Frii. Please enjoy the rest yourself.”


Ah, I could go for some pickled radishes right now. The rich taste of the oil was delightful, but the refreshing crunch and cleansing effect of pickled radishes, resetting the palate before the next flavorful bite, was something I missed.

“Do we have something like pickles? Maybe made from radishes?”

“We don’t have radish pickles… but we do have cucumber pickles.”

Uh, cucumbers weren’t really my thing. I could usually eat just about anything, but cucumbers were where I drew the line. It couldn’t be helped.

“That’s okay, I’ll pass on the cucumber.”

“You don’t like cucumber pickles?”

“Uh, seems like it.”

Better not sound too decisive, right?

“Then… I’ll try making some radish pickles. They won’t be immediately ready to eat since they need some time to prepare.”

“Making them is more than enough! Thank you, Lady Tambor.”

Tambor, who was always ready with a smile, suddenly opened her mouth again.

“By the way, Miss.”


“I am a servant of this house, am I not?”

That… was true.

While she does more than the typical maid, handling even the tasks usually reserved for handmaids… And yet she manages it all perfectly.

‘…God Tambor. I love you.’

Why did she bring that up all of a sudden?

As I looked at her with puzzled eyes, she continued with a smile.

“But you always call me ‘Lady Tambor,’ and I feel a bit sad about it. You call Sir Jaha by his name now, don’t you?”


Wasn’t it customary in this world to address noblewomen with ‘Lady’? When we first met, the physician did that, and Enfrise referred to me as ‘Lady Rivette’ when he needed to address me directly…

Even Jaha did that, right?

“Uh, is it okay to call you without a title…?”

“Of course. Miss is… an important person in this mansion. As long as you are here with His Grace, I’m serving you. It feels a bit disheartening to be called ‘Lady’ all the time.”

Uh, no, huh?

…Still, there was quite an age difference between Tambor and me? I mean, I’ve gotten used to calling her ‘Tambor’ in my head because she was a character from a novel… but was it really okay to call her that openly?

And she said it made her feel bad.

“Um… Tambor?”

“Yes, Miss.”

“Is it okay to call you like this?”


Tambor let out a soft laugh and covered her mouth.

“I’ve been wondering if you found it awkward to address me that way. It’s a relief to hear this.”

“No, it wasn’t like that! I thought it was polite to…”

“I thought so.”

Tambor, who was still smiling brightly, said she would bring more fried chicken for Frii and left. Just then, Frii, who had finished the chicken he was given earlier, slowly emerged from under the bed and climbed onto the table.



“Your owner must be a fool.”

I picked out a piece of just meat and offered it to Frii. Contrary to my expectation that he would immediately take it and head under the bed, Frii sniffed around and seemed to be examining me.

“Are you trying to listen to me?”


Was that his way of saying go ahead and talk? This remarkable little guy.

As I gently stroked Frii’s head, he began shaking his head as if he enjoyed it. Wondering if he disliked it, I stopped, but then he rubbed his head against my fingers.

“So, it’s like that? You can’t even tell if you like it or not. Are you asking for more?”


“I wish I had the ability to read people’s hearts.”

Maybe Tambor had been secretly upset. She was the third person I met here, and arguably, I’ve interacted with her much more frequently than with Enfrise. Yet, I thought it was all casual, but apparently it wasn’t.

Tambor was right.

I did make her feel uncomfortable.

For some reason, whenever the baby powder scent wafted from her, I felt irked, and my stomach churned when she seemed to read my mind. When I looked at her…

I was reminded of my mom.

Was I really dead in the real world now? Dad probably wouldn’t care. He never really talked to me. Grandma would probably complain about receiving too little in condolence money at the funeral, and my younger sibling would likely be annoyed at losing a helpful housekeeper.

…Everyone’s reaction seems predictable, except for mom’s.

Was I still expecting something from my family? Or did I not want to know about my mom? I couldn’t even tell.

“I wish I had the ability to fully understand my own heart.”

Would that mean I could avoid both getting hurt and hurting others?


Whether telling me to stop the nonsense or to touch it, Frii gently bit my fingertip. It was so gentle that I could barely feel the bite.

Then, he grabbed his piece of chicken and dashed under the bed.

“You want me to leave you alone and let you enjoy your chicken?”

….Ah, whatever.

I might as well enjoy my chicken, too.

At the thought, I picked up a fork and speared a big piece.