‘Do you want to sleep together?’

I stared blankly at the ceiling, wrapping the blanket around me, just like yesterday.

‘…I must be crazy.’

I couldn’t believe those words came out of my mouth. I couldn’t believe it at all.

Dimitri usually took a long time to shower. Today, as usual, I was the first to come out of the bathroom and settle into bed before him.

‘Am I acting really confusing right now, aren’t I?’

I grabbed the blanket so hard that I heard the sound of a thread breaking somewhere. Still, I couldn’t pull my hand away. It was because the reason had come too late was tormenting me.

‘W-Wh, What should I do…?’

What were the chances that inviting a man who confessed his love to me to sleep together wouldn’t sound like temptation?

‘But his condition didn’t seem good, and I can’t ask him to sleep on the sofa in the study…’

Every time I heard Dimitri’s footsteps from the bathroom, I flinched and trembled.

‘…Should I run away now?’

The desire to do so was strong.

Maybe Agwen would accept me even if I suddenly showed up in the middle of the night. Although it might be a bother, I didn’t have the luxury to consider that now.

‘Should I run away? Yes, I’m running away!’

It was the moment when I made up my mind and sat up straight.

Thud.

As the bathroom door opened, I sprawled down in place, closed my eyes tightly and didn’t move, pretending to be sound asleep. I could hear Dimitri’s footsteps as he walked towards me, coming out of the bathroom. His steps were as quiet and stealthy as usual.

As he approached, the scent of soap and water wafted from him and reached me.

‘What if he misunderstands and thinks I’m tempting him? I really just meant to sleep together like last night. What if he misunderstands? What do I do…?’

I could barely breathe as I waited nervously to see what Dimitri would do next.

“….”

I felt Dimitri standing silently next to the bed, watching me. He sat quietly on the edge of the bed before dimming the lamp on the bedside table.

Even with my eyes closed, I could feel that the room had become much darker.

I held my breath even more and tried to calm my frantically racing heart. However, as I became conscious of it, my heart started pounding harder to the point that it hurt.

‘Is my heart going to explode like this?’

I wasn’t exaggerating.

My mood fluctuated so intensely that I suddenly gave up everything and started thinking about extreme things.

‘I want to die…’

I was almost in despair.

The next moment, I felt Dimitri lying down beside me. For a moment, I was startled by the thought that I wanted to be held in his arms again like last night.

‘I must be crazy.’

At the same time, I felt like crying because of this inevitable situation.

I didn’t know if I stopped breathing or if my heart was beating too fast, but I felt lightheaded. At that moment, Dimitri turned towards me and gently placed my head on his arm as if offering it as a pillow with tender affection.

‘W-Why me? Why to me…?’

I kept my body tense, pretending to be sound asleep without making any movements.

Today, I didn’t have the slightest bit of leeway to be as playful as I was yesterday. Even though I couldn’t help it yesterday because I was scared of thunder and lightning, and was crying uncontrollably, today, suggesting we sleep together seemed a bit…

‘…It looks like temptation to anyone.’

Whether he was tired or not, I should just let him leave. It wasn’t like sleeping on the couch would kill him.

‘Is it being overly considerate? Foolish kindness? Ah, I don’t know. Why am I like this? Huukeuk.’

Lying as stiff as a log, I tensed every muscle in my body as I took short, shallow breaths. Suddenly realizing my breathing was too rough, I forced myself to calm down.

At that moment, Dimitri gently patted my shoulder, which was wrapped in the blanket.

I could feel his breath on my cheek, emitting a pleasant scent that was difficult to describe.

‘Is it… the scent of soap?’

Every time I took a breath, a sweet fragrance permeated my nose, swirling through my brain and settling deep in my lungs. It felt as if I were buried beneath a warm, pink cloud.

I sighed and relaxed, intoxicated by the scent of his body.

“….”

Amidst the mental turmoil, an unexpected tranquility settled heavily upon us.

I quietly listened to his breathing. As I relaxed into the soothing rhythm, our breaths seemed to synchronize.

My mind suddenly calmed down, and everything felt hazy. I could feel myself drifting off to sleep. In my drowsy state, I suddenly felt him pulling me closer and wrapping me tightly in his embrace. For a moment, I thought about pushing him away, but the pleasant pressure made me want to stay still.

‘Right now, it’s perfect.’

As my forehead touched his chest, he delicately raised his hand to stroke my hair.

It was a tender gesture that filled my heart to the brim.

After tenderly stroking my hair like that for a while, he tilted his head down slightly, kissed my forehead, and then pulled me into a tight embrace.

Eventually, a soft voice escaped from his lips, along with a deep breath.

“Ah, good…”

“….”

I couldn’t push him away like that. Instead of pushing him away, I found myself wishing time could just stand still like this.

The feeling of being loved by someone overwhelmed my heart.

Everything felt dreamlike and surreal. All the realities and pessimistic thoughts in my mind were momentarily forgotten, and I found myself smiling involuntarily.

And just like that, I drifted off to sleep, intoxicated with a fullness of satisfaction I’d never felt before.

Dimitri couldn’t fall asleep.

It was a relief that he was able to naturally embrace Rowaine, who pretended to be asleep without moving a muscle. After a while, her breathing became steady and even. Still, he couldn’t even take a deep breath for fear that Rowaine, who was barely asleep, would wake up.

Smiling with satisfaction at being able to hold Rowain as much as he wanted, at the end of his gaze was Agaliaept, who was being watched by Samael.

‘Trying to manipulate someone with an incomplete contract.’

When he exhaled, Rowaine shrunk her neck a little and turned around, probably because the breeze tickled her.

Seeing that, Dimitri patted her gentle touch and peered into her face. He wished he could spend every night like tonight. Even on thunderous nights, he could hold her tight without fear so that she could sleep soundly without fear.

His consciousness gradually flowed and extended into the future.

As he imagined spending their daily life sleeping and waking up together like an ordinary couple, he gradually pictured himself and Rowaine living a normal married life. In such a scenario, there might come a time when the child who had nightmares would come at night and drive a wedge between mother and father.

Would it be a daughter or a son?

As long as Rowaine was happy, it would be okay to have multiple children, regardless of whether they were daughters or sons.

It would be even better if they had a daughter who resembled Rowaine.

What if that daughter grew up and wanted to get married? He thought it would be a good idea to always attach Shedim to keep an eye on the guy his daughter brought in. If he didn’t like him, he could always take him on a tour of hell.

The imagination stretched into the distant future.

When the grandchildren come, it would be nice to order them delicious food spread out on the table and enjoy a harmonious dinner.

Rowaine would be happily smiling, looking at their family next to him.

And so, throughout the night, Dimitri’s head was filled with the large family born from his own family planning, bustling and celebrating.

However, the imagination of Blois mansion as the backdrop gradually transformed into a snow-covered field.

It was where the white wolf shapeshifters lived. There was the smiling master and his son, Esca, and their families.

Dimitri found himself reminiscing about the evening meals he had seen among the white wolf shapeshifters when he was young. It was a memory of a peaceful day before humans came and killed or captured them.

‘Family…’

Until meeting Esca’s family, he had never thought deeply about the word ‘family’ before.

When he really thought about it, family was a sad and painful existence. Even though he had a mother, he didn’t have many memories of her. His mother always seemed resigned, as if she had accepted everything. She lived and died as a plaything of the previous duke. Yet, she was the only warmth he had ever felt as a child.

When he lost her, he was very sad and felt angry towards Cayetana, but at the same time, he also felt relieved.

It was because his mother wouldn’t have to cry in pain anymore.

Afterwards, when he met Esca’s family, he was quite shocked. The whole family gathered around food, talking about their daily routine, checking in on each other’s feelings, and asking about the most trivial things while sharing the food they had prepared.

It was the first time he had ever felt such warmth.

It was a time when he had been beaten to near death by Cayetana’s men and left on the street.

At that time, Dimitri was busy setting his guard up against anyone who crossed his path. He grew up in an environment where that was what he was used to and what was right. Still, inside that yurt, he felt oddly foolish standing alone. He felt like a triangle mixed into a circle.

Living with the white wolf shapeshifters was peaceful and comforting, though it wasn’t entirely comfortable. Like shadows deepening in the midst of light, it was a better contrast to how unhappy his life had been

As he watched their happy faces, Dimitri thought he should leave them as soon as possible. And after leaving them, he had vowed to forever forget that illusionary sweetness. Not only that it didn’t suit him, but he also didn’t believe such comfort would come to him.

Dimitri had kept that vow for a long time.

He focused solely on his own power and strength to protect himself, and his only goal was to never be trampled on by the world again.

Until he met Rowaine.

“….”

Dimitri let out a deep breath as he hugged Rowaine tightly.

Being with her somehow brought peace to his heart.

It was a different kind of comfort than he felt among the white wolf pack. Being around her didn’t reveal him to be a dark shadow and an unhappy person, but rather, it felt like her light was illuminating him.

The light that washes away the darkness.

Next to her, his vigilance and unease crumbled helplessly.

He followed Rowaine’s breathing as he drifted into a deep sleep, feeling a complete sense of relief… Without even realizing that his body was transforming into the most comfortable form.

 
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