Mom looked at me, her face contorting in shock as if she had seen a ghost.

— “You, what are you saying now? Who told you to endure? You said you were doing it because you enjoyed it!”

Did Mom not know? Or was she pretending not to know?

Or was it simply that she was too exhausted to see?

— “Have you ever once complained about it being tough? You always said you enjoyed school and life at home! Do you have any idea how much I’ve had to endure?!”

I had thought Mom always vented a lot to me. But perhaps that wasn’t the case. Or was there still resentment left?

Or maybe something undissolvable had firmly stuck in Mom’s heart and was growing over time.

— “If it weren’t for you, I would have divorced a long time ago! If it weren’t for you, my life wouldn’t have turned out like this! What is all this? Where did my dream of a peaceful and gentle family go? Spending time lovingly with my husband, the happy moments traveling with the kids… where did all that go?”

Mom.

We could have had those times whenever. But Mom always said she was too busy and retreated to her room. To Mom, work was always more important than me.

Or… was I not part of Mom’s family? Was spending time with me not enough to fill you?

‘Then, what am I to you, Mom?’

Most of my Mom’s ranting went unheard by me. Still, one thing was clear.

‘I see. I was a burden.’

To my grandmother, I was like an irritating boil. To my father, a bothersome mosquito for touching my grandmother’s sore spot. To my brother, perhaps a maid who did everything he demanded.

…And to my mother, I was a shackle.

Realizing this, I gave up on everything, but I didn’t want to give up on school. That was something I had achieved entirely through my own effort.

— “I won’t live on my own… I’ll commute from home.”

— “Then, why not go somewhere closer to home?”

— “I’ll cover my college tuition with the money I’ve earned from part-time jobs. I’ll continue working part-time and won’t neglect my chores at home. Just let me go to school.”

— “Money you earned? There’s no such thing.”

— “What?”

I had always had a nagging suspicion.

— “I’ve never seen that before. What’s that?”

— “What’s it to you? Don’t touch it if you don’t want to get dirty. Go clean up instead. Why is the house like a dustbin?”

My brother had always been prickly towards me. There was a time when he seemed somewhat cute, but at some point, he began to speak harshly to me, just like my grandmother.

From that moment on, new gaming consoles and such began to appear in my brother’s room.

— “You should be saving your allowance these days. It’s about time you learned some financial sense. Don’t waste so much money on game purchases like before.”

— “Ugh, I’ll handle it myself. What’s it to you, Dad? You’re such a nag, seriously.”

When the topic of money came up, my brother would glance at me and burst into anger. Occasionally, from his room, cheers like:

— “Ah, f*ckyeah, jackpot! I got the SS card! My deck is complete now! F*ck, am I the first on the server?”

Though each incident seemed trivial on its own, I had a hunch.

However, perhaps I chose not to doubt because it was easier to close my eyes to the truth. So, my shock at grandmother’s words was half genuine, half an act. Deep down, I had suspected it. I was just deceiving myself by covering it up.

— “What’s with that amount? I just give it to Suhyuk as his allowance.”

— “…I used to receive three hundred thousand to five hundred thousand won a month, Grandma.”

— “And what’s the big deal?”

— “Suhyuk has never earned a single penny on his own.”

— “Our grandson doesn’t need such petty cash. He’s meant for greater things, so his spending should match that scale.”

— “…Why are you doing this to me? What did I do wrong? I did everything Grandmother asked. So why even touch that small amount of money I had? Why?”

— “Look at her! Daring to glare at me like that!”

— “Why are you doing this to me?”

I couldn’t cry. My voice didn’t even waver.

Only the cold trail on my cheek told me I was crying.

And my grandmother…

— “Girls always resort to tears, huh? Why? Because you can’t carry on the family name. Do you think I’d accept a memorial service from you or from our grandson?”

If there was any hope left in me before that… it must have been shattered afterward. I didn’t even think it was unfair. Because that was just the way these people are. Because I’m this kind of person. Because I wasn’t born a man, because I couldn’t stand up against such irrationality.

Because I was lacking.

I accepted it all as natural.

I thought they would let me go at least by the time I got married, though even that wasn’t easy. I always rush home as soon as school ends. I didn’t have a smartphone, always having to text inconveniently. Good thing I had friends who cared for me. They would get furious over even the small bits of the daily life I shared as if something monumental had happened.

— “If this keeps happening, you’ll be in big trouble.”

— “Big trouble?”

— “What if, in your eagerness to escape from that house, you get entangled with some worthless man and ruin your life even after marriage? You’ve suffered so much, Suhee. You deserve happiness after marriage. I’ll share a list of oppas that this Sister has carefully selected for you. Come out.”

— “You know I can’t go out.”

— “Hey! Who said anything about going out for a blind date? Just say you need to console a friend’s mom and come out! We’ll take care of your clothes and makeup.”

I was grateful for my friends’ consideration.

And honestly, I was desperate to escape that life. If someone had proposed, I might have jumped at the chance, just as my friends suggested. We planned the blind dates like a secret operation. It was fun. Not because I was excited to meet men but because it felt so good to have someone do something for me.

But then…

— “This girl learned this in the university where she went to study.”

How did she find out?

Seeing my grandmother wielding a wooden spoon and looking furious, I was frozen in fear.

My brother, smirking with my phone in his hand, caught my eye. He often used his phone for game payments and often used my phone when he needed something. Still, he never snooped through my messages before.

Why?

— “I knew you would end up like this! All you learn is to scheme things like this? Barely twenty-five and already planning to run off with a man? Tsk, this girl! Have you ever been modest, smart, or good to your brother? If this is all you’re going to do, you might as well leave and die!”

[ It seemed I couldn’t go on the blind date. Sorry to have gotten your hopes up. ]

After two days of silence, my worried friends messaged me, but all I could send back was an apology. Knowing my situation best, one of them called me out.

— “Sorry. I can’t go out.”

— “Did your grandmother hit you again?”

— “It’s not that. Just some stuff came up. Sorry.”

My friends, perhaps frustrated by my vague responses, gradually stopped reaching out. And so, my chance to meet someone became limited to just home and work.

And everyone at both places was all the same.

“I don’t know what I was like before, but without my memories now, I’m not familiar with men, right?”

“…Yes.”

“From what I see, the Grand Duke is not very comfortable around me either. So, let’s take some time to get used to each other.”

And there I was, suddenly dropped from the sky, standing in front of an incredible man.

A man who looked only at one person, even if it was a skewed affection, dedicating himself entirely to that one person… and that one person just happened to be the person I possessed.

In addition, he was handsome, cute, and sexy, and he did everything so perfectly by himself. It would be strange not to feel excited in front of such a man. So, getting used to it would surely make things better.

“Do we really… need to get used to it?”

“Of course.”

I wonder how he interpreted my answer as his expression darkened slightly. Surely, he didn’t think I wanted to quickly get rid of the fluttering and thrilling emotions because they were bothersome?

“I don’t know when my memory will return or if it ever will. There’s a good chance I might never regain it, right? If that’s the case, I’ll have to spend my life here with the Grand Duke.”

I gripped his hand tighter.

Was it because our hands were clenched together that it felt this way? Or was it because of the excitement? Or maybe the tension?

Our hands felt as warm as a heater.

Both mine and his.

“If I get excited like this every time, I won’t be able to do anything.”

“…What is it that you want to do with me?”

“Everything.”

I said, smiling.

“Even eating alone is delicious because Lady Tambor’s skills are so great! But it tasted best when I ate with you. I can’t even paint my nails on my own, so I need to do that with you, and whether learning letters or you reading books to me, we need to do that together. And in the future, things I want to do, things you want to do, we have to do them together.”

So.

“If we live a life always fluttering like this, our hearts might just burst, right?”

As I smiled, seeking his agreement, Enfirse pressed his lips tightly together.

And then.

“Oh…”

“So, does this mean we will also do this together?”

Something wide and warm enveloped me.

__